Assignment Link:

For this assignment, you will use all of the skills you’ve learned about paragraph-writing.

• making a clear argument and wording it concisely in the TS
• supporting the TS with three detailed, precise and specific examples
• explaining directly how each example supports the TS
• incorporating an HTC that deepens the argument
• re-wording the argument clearly in the CS
• using grammar, spelling and formal academic style effectively

You don’t have to use any sources other than the ones we’ve used in class. Therefore, you should have all the notes you need. However, you may want to highlight or gather key evidence to use in your paragraph.

Once you have an idea of the evidence you’ll want to use, put it all together and figure out what your main argument will be. Then you’ll be able to write your TS.

TS Formula

• TS = main argument + sub-topics described

Decide which of the following is an effective main argument and if the bullet points that follow it could be useful sub-topics to support it:

1. Egypt was a very rich and fancy civilization.

• It had a lot of resources
• It had monumental art
• It had rulers who tried to do a good job

2. The afterlife was the central focus of Egyptian life.

• The ritual of tomb-building was begun early on for those who could afford it.
• People tried to live according to ma’at
• People followed spells and used amulets

3. Egyptian art was usually quite conservative.

• Artists almost always followed long-hold customary practices
• There was never any change from one kingdom or dynasty to the next
• Akhenaton broke the mold

Now that you’ve chosen, it’s time to figure out how to incorporate the sub-topics into the topic sentence.

For #2, we can turn each bullet point into a sub-topic that supports the main argument. First, we’ll make sure we like the wording of the main argument itself. Second, we’ll add linking words to connect the main argument to the sub-topics. Next, we’ll have to make each sub-topic a bit more concise. That’s why word choice (especially adjectives and adverbs) is so important. Then, we’ll even have to decide if we like that order of sub-topics.

1. The afterlife was the central and continuing focus of Egyptian life as shown through…

I like it: takes a position on a topic and is concise. Note, I added the words ‘and continuing‘ to incorporate my HTC into the main argument.

2. People tried to live according to ma’at.

– It’s okay but I will reword it to flow better from “as shown through”: people trying to live according to ma’at

People followed spells and used amulets.

– It’s ok – just change wording a bit: follow spells and use amulets to get good luck in life and death

The ritual of tomb-building was begun early on for those who could afford it.

– It’s okay – a bit wordy. and build tombs as early as possible to be ready to have a positive after-death experience.

So, our final TS will read:

The afterlife was the central and continuing focus of Egyptian life as shown through people trying to live according to ma’at, follow spells and use amulets to get good luck in life and death, and build tombs as early as possible to be ready to have a positive after-death experience.

The Balancing Act

Examples = Evidence = Thinking Mark

Once you know which three examples you’ll use from your notes/worksheets, you have to make sure they are of good quality:

• detailed (not vague)
• specific (not general)
• real-life (not hypothetical)

This means that you have to be a precise as possible. For example, if you’re writing about Akhenaton’s capital city, use its name (Amarna or Akhetaton). Don’t just call it his city. Or, if you’re discussing his wife, use her exact name, Nefertiti.

As much as possible, answer the “w and h” questions (who, what, where, when, why, how) about each example. The reason we are so detailed is so that a reader who knows nothing about this topic can understand what you mean. Therefore, don’t assume Ms. G is your reader. She knows too much! Help paint a descriptive picture for your reader. Try to be specific rather than general. General is vague. Vague makes the reader confused – we don’t want that!

Arguments = Application Mark

To balance the see-saw, you need to have arguments that are as well explained as your examples are detailed. These are not summaries of what has already been said. These are explanations of how the example proves or supports the position you take in the topic sentence.

The arguments also contain your link to the HTC. In my example above, it makes sense to use continuity because the focus on the afterlife didn’t change throughout Egyptian history. Also, it ties to the concept of stability, which is directly linked to continuity. The afterlife definitely provided a stable influence on life in ancient Egypt. Depending on your topic, you may also use continuity and/or change between Hatshepsut and Akhenaton.

For historical perspectives, you will be using context to show what was going on at the time period being studied (New Kingdom Egypt, 18th dynasty). You are likely to use this guidepost: “Different groups of people had different views on events.” 

Don’t forget to look at the HTC section of the Google Classroom for suggestions. There is also an HTC page on the blog.

Ma’at

For the Egyptians, Ma’at was a central principle of their lives. They tried to living according to it, as they were taught to do so from childhood. These beliefs were passed down, widely circulated, and reflected in all aspects of life from religion to government to rituals of the afterlife.

We don’t really have anything similar. However, in the past some people might have said that Canada was built on Christian values. As our society’s multiculturalism has grown and been officially recognized, Christian values have been overtaken by a wider diversity of beliefs.

Canadian historians and political scientists might claim that “peace order and good government” has been the founding principle on which Canada is based. If this were true, Canadians would live their lives around this overarching value and we wouldn’t have any problems. Perhaps not?

Some other ancient civilizations had central concepts but perhaps not as central as Ma’at. The Greeks highly prized the achievement of glory. Spartans in particular valued conformity to their tight military structure so much that every aspect of their lives revolved around it. The Romans valued conquest and strength. The Chinese based many of their governmental and cultural institutions on Confucianism and its emphasis on family, moderation and stability.

Ma’at was a uniquely Egyptian feature that held its society together. Not forever though…

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